If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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