I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
