i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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