we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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