Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sext me about skeletons
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
