If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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