Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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