I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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