and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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