If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
