I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are