so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.