Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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