Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?

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  (360): Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else? http://tfl.nu/srg3
  Replies (10) Good night (532) Bad night (2509) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
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  (562): View more from California

  We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

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  (562): We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went. http://tfl.nu/2aw8
  Replies (25) Good night (5248) Bad night (1099)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5317) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.

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  (314): I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome. http://tfl.nu/831u
  Replies (12) Good night (4515) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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  (512): You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication. http://tfl.nu/dq9l
  Replies (6) Good night (2988) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"

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  (772): I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up" http://tfl.nu/z0ws
  Replies (12) Good night (2083) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here

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  (917): Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here http://tfl.nu/lif5
  Replies (3) Good night (2971) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

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  (289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe
  Replies (17) Good night (5221) Bad night (804)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.

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  (254): The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight. http://tfl.nu/ef2o
  Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ...i wondered where i left that...

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  (732): please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong... (1-732): ...i wondered where i left that... http://tfl.nu/q7mv
  Replies (3) Good night (2283) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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  (701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn
  Replies (9) Good night (2085) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

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  (936): You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me. http://tfl.nu/du0t
  Replies (13) Good night (3642) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.

  (347): View more from New York

  Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!

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  (646): Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee. (347): Wait a min, you had drugs last night?! http://tfl.nu/3nfc
  Replies (1) Good night (1135) Bad night (626)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON

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  (917): i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON http://tfl.nu/vk8e
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt

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