Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize