a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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