no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
