I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
