I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
