You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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