My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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