sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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