when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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