Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
