my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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