i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
