Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
