i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize