the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its about making memories worth repressing
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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