Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
