i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
