woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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