The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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