oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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