Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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