my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
