i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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