i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
