At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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