Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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