i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
