Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize