I need to stop coming to work sober
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
