It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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