i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
