She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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