So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
