I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
