She is in my trunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
