Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
