Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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