I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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