I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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