Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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