Me too!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
