Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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