I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
