you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
