I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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