i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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