I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
